To my dad,
Growing up, it’s easy to feel out of place or inadequate. School, friends and society expect children, especially young women to act a certain way. However, this is something my dad never pushed onto me.
As a child, I loved trainsets, airplanes and racecars, topics usually reserved for boys. I enjoyed wearing boy t-shirts, with male characters from Paw Patrol, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Despicable Me. While most parents encourage their child to wear gender appropriate clothing, my dad never judged me for being me.
He supported my love of mechanics and took me to Sonoma’s TrainTown Railroad and more locally, Hiller Aviation Museum.
Once, my dad gave me the option between playing with dolls or cars, and while I inevitably chose the racecar, he didn’t scold or correct me for my genuine interest. Instead, he adapted.
Instead of pushing me to play with princesses or pretend makeup, both of my parents bought me construction toys, fire engines and Hot Wheels.
The room to grow helped me recognize my interests without fear of being different.
As I got older, I started to realize that not every daughter gets the same freedom. Many girls are forced to dress in a way that looks more feminine then what the child actually wants.
The “pink tax” is an example of the economic impact of gender enforced clothing where the women’s section is more expensive compared to the men’s.
According to Gitnux, a statistic found that girl’s jeans are 13% more expensive than boy’s jeans. They also cited that women’s sneakers and underwear cost 24% and 27% more than the men’. Implementing unfair gender costs only adds to the negative stigma behind women’s clothing.
When a parent forces their child to act or dress a certain way, it limits creativity and authenticity, one of the most important characteristics of an adolescent.
Parents, a popular online news issue gives advice to parents navigating the role of raising children.
In an article titled, Why Does My Kid Want to Wear the Same Thing Every Day? Journalist Sherri Gordon spoke to Manhattan based psychotherapist Mikki Lee Elembaby, PsyD to learn more about a child’s relationship with clothing.
“I think a good rule of thumb is if it is not causing your child any harm, it is probably OK to just let it go…It’s also one of the first ways they exert independence and self-expression—choosing their own clothes is a way of saying, ‘This is who I am!’” said Elembaby.
Clothing is a way of expression and allowing children to wear what they want gives them the freedom to be the person who they want.
Now that I’m graduating HS and moving to Southern California for college, I feel prepared to be myself. You and mom worked tirelessly to instill confidence and perseverance in my life.
So, thank you for letting me be, unapologetically– me.
