I feel like I am a completely different person. Before shelter in place was enforced, I was never at home. I used to use every excuse in the book to be out of the house. Normally, I was with my friends doing anything. My goal was just to not face the boringness my home brought me. I would even go to the gym late at night just to catch a break. Now, I can’t even go to the gym! 

Do not get me wrong, there are definitely some perks to staying home. For one, we are doing our part in keeping safe and healthy. Not only ourselves, but we are also keeping others healthy too. 

I have also been getting so much time with my family. My older sister came home from college, and it is so nice to have my best friend home with me. My family is finally eating meals together at one table, which I cannot remember the last time that happened. All this extra time makes me so grateful, especially knowing it is time I would not have had otherwise. 

That being said, I feel it is totally appropriate to say I am ready for the shelter in place order to be lifted and to leave the walls of my house and go anywhere. I wish I were the type of person to not care about what is going on and just leave, but the thought of going out and putting myself and others at risk scares me deeply. 

Being stuck at home is turning me into a different person. And not just in general. I am a different person each week. Sometimes, I am the most productive and motivated person you have ever met. I wake up early, eat healthy and balanced meals, exercise more than any other day, do all my work ahead of time, and still have time to talk with friends and family. But then the next week, I won’t even bother to change out of my pajamas. I forget what a hairbrush is and lose all ability to have a normal conversation, much less get to class on time. 

I have learned to accept what is happening, and I hate that I have. I feel like I should be disappointed about prom and graduation not happening in a traditional fashion, but instead I am just waiting for the days where I can leave my house and see some friends without consequences. 

Being on my devices all day has my head spinning. Not only do I have headaches that seem to last a lifetime, but nothing amuses me. I have not watched Netflix for a week because it bores me. All I want is to be in a real classroom or in nature. You could put me in the longest line in Disneyland in 100-degree weather, and I would just be happy to be outside of my house The ride could shut down just as I am about to get on, and I wouldn’t even care.

If you know me, you know that I am not a touchy person at all. But, right now I would give anything for a hug from someone who I have not been stuck in the same house with for two months. 

Social distancing and shelter in place are going to have a big toll on people, one that we cannot even anticipate, and I can already tell that I will be one of those people from the amount of force it takes me to not scream, “No more Zoom!  Take me to the beach!” every time I open my laptop.